Category Archives: Humor

Spangler Failed to Qualify for the Olympic Team – Revealing Video Tells Why

The Vancouver 2010 opening ceremonies are Friday night and to celebrate, the Morning Men of 9News tried out for Team USA.

Okay, I’m a science geek, but I’ve always dreamed of being an Olympic athlete. To realize this dream, I joined my on-air co-workers at 9News – Gary Shapiro, Gregg Moss, Graeme Nistler and Rob Proctor – to form the 9News ice skating team. Here’s the problem… we received some ill-advised guidance from legendary but shadowy Olympic coach Boris Kreskov. This opportunity, along with the $500 I gave him, proved to have some flaws. I also made a bad judgment call when I brought my fire extinguisher. Take a look…

Kreskov put us through a series of unusual exercises that involved both yoga and psychological intimidation before turning us loose on skates.

Shapiro, Nistler and Proctor actually stayed upright. Moss looked fetching in his Spiderman helmet, while I stunned the coach and a handful of onlookers with my use of a fire extinguisher to propel myself across the ice.

Thanks to the Hyland Hills Ice Centre at the Promenade in Westminster for hosting our practice. I also want to give a shout out to the Rocky Mountain Figure Skating Club for showing the morning men what real skating is supposed to look like.

Surprisingly, I didn’t make the team, missing by only inches. I’m looking forward to Sochi, Russia in 2014.

If you didn’t get enough of our attempt at the Olympics, watch the outtakes -

Spangler's Insta-Snow in Iraq – U.S. Army Confuses Locals

Spangler-Insta-Snow-Iraq-2It’s not supposed to snow in Iraq… but that didn’t stop the 34th Infantry Division of the U.S. Army stationed in Iraq. Shelli Markgraf shared these pictures of her husband’s division making a pile of snow in seconds by adding water to our Insta-Snow® powder. By looking at the additional pictures, you might be lead to believe that this was just a fun activity for our soldiers to pass the time… but you would be wrong.

In fact, the eruption of snow was used as a small scale experiment to see what would happen if millions of pounds of Insta-Snow were dropped from helicopters, instantly mixing with water, erupting into massive mountains of snow, with desert winds whipping the snow into a blizzard-like frenzy. Yes, this would confuse the enemy.

After pondering the idea for a few seconds, someone asked, “Where are we going to find the water in the desert to make the reaction work?” It took exactly 1.3 seconds to completely abandon the blizzard idea, and the soldiers resorted to making snow angels on the surface of the sun.

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I Survived the Bed of Nails T-Shirt

Over 750 people experienced the Bed of Nails demo at our booth at NAEYC this year… and some of the really excited people took home the t-shirt.

NAEYC-ShirtDo you think the holes in the back are too much? No way… especially if you have a specially rigged shirt that springs a leak. Thanks to Brian Firooz for wearing the leaking shirt and drinking gallons and gallons of water over the course of the three-day conference.


Giant Red Balloons Find a New Home After Balloon Boy Experiment


Contrary to popular belief, we didn’t just cut the bag of potatoes free after our impromptu Balloon Boy experiment. My luck, the bag would somehow break free, potatoes would rain down upon some poor unsuspecting fool, and I’d end up going to jail (while Richard Heene gets a reality TV show out of the deal). Instead, we needed to find a good home for 45 giant red balloons filled with helium. My manager, Carly Reed, had her own special experiment… “I wonder if all of these balloons will fit into Brian Firooz’s office?” Within seconds of uttering her hypothesis, Carly had a team of co-workers running for Brian’s office.

Conclusion? They fit.

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